THERAPY OUTSIDE THE BINARY
Gender is at the core of our being. As such a fundamental part of who we are, it is inherently complex and multifaceted. Understanding the nuances of our gendered selves can be confusing, especially if the outside world perceives us in a way that doesn’t align with the way we feel inside.
It’s a frightening and jarring experience to look in the mirror and realize you’re living in a place that doesn’t feel like home. Things can get pretty tangled up inside when all of the unarticulated thoughts, feelings, and questions you have about gender are jumbled together with social norms, cultural beliefs, family expectations, fears you have about the future, and feelings of shame and self-loathing.
So often, it feels like there’s a war being waged inside your own mind. One part of you wants more than anything to feel solid in who you are and to be able to express yourself in ways that leave you feeling like -- yes, this is me. But another part of you feels deeply ashamed and wonders how others could possibly see you and love you for all of who you are when you can’t even do that for yourself.
You know you need to talk about it so you don’t stay stuck in your own head, but the idea of starting a conversation about something so vulnerable feels scary and overwhelming. It’s hard to even know where to start.
Therapy is a place where we can talk about this stuff.
I started doing this work in 2016, when trans, non-binary and gender-expansive clients started to find their way into my office. I may not have set out to find this work, but it certainly found me. I think people who wanted to talk about gender felt safe with me because, on some level, they could sense something in me that I wasn’t fully aware of at the time. Regardless of how or why it happened, I'm grateful that it did. It was in the process of doing this work that my own gender story really started unfold.
If gender is something you want to explore, I’ll meet you where you’re at and let you lead. My only intention is to help you to figure out what’s true for you so that you can feel more at home in your own skin and live a life that feels authentic to who you are. I don’t have preconceived notions about what your process should look like or where it should take you because honestly, that’s not for me to decide. The wonderful thing about gender is that it’s yours – no one can claim it or embody it except you.
I know how important this work is and I’ll be here when you’re ready.
SOME OF THE CLIENTS I WORK WITH
Who are you?